Business relationships are the cornerstone of a successful and thriving business, no matter who you are and what you do. “It’s not what you know but who you know”, is true on a LOT more levels than the obvious one!
But how do you even get them started? What does it take to get people to see you, “get” you, and want to know more? I mean, it’s not exactly going to work if you march up to somebody, shove your hand in their face, and say, “Hey, let’s be friends!”
It didn’t ever work on the playground and it’s not gonna work now, either!
There’s a step that comes before you establish the friendship and become “official.” You gotta break the ice. Prime the pump. Pre-heat the oven, so to speak.
You do this by showing up. Taking an interest. Sharing things about yourself. And letting someone know that you’re genuinely curious about them, too.
This all-important stepping stone is called RAPPORT.
It’s about communicating, understanding, and exchanging ideas and feelings. And it’s an integral part of any kind of relationship.
I have a colleague in one of my favorite online groups named Raymond. One day he put the word out to our groups saying that he REALLY wanted to meet somebody, a big influencer he’d been following for some time.
I asked him, “So who do you want to meet?”
Raymon answered, “John Lee Dumas.”
“Really? I know John Lee Dumas!” I said back. “I can introduce you!”
But then it got even better. I said, “Raymon, who do YOU know? Because I would really love to have Pat Flynn on the podcast.”
And guess what? Raymon just happened to know Pat Flynn.
So we each did something for the other in a mutually beneficial exchange. That’s rapport at it’s finest right there.
If you help somebody and they help you back, you’re building rapport. And from there, the more rapport you build, the closer you get to what I call the “relationship status.” (And no, not that spot that you leave blank on your Facebook profile!)
And the more engaging, genuine, and mutually beneficial business relationships you have in the world, the better!
When it comes to it, people really do want to help other people. You just need to have the courage to ask. You also have to be willing to give to others yourself. Because the more opportunities you take to make a difference for someone else, the more it’ll come back to you. And probably even more than you could imagine!
So how do you get this all-important rapport brewing to build better business relationships?
So you can do big things for yourself AND for everyone around you?
Here are my top 5 ways to light that rapport fire and get you going right now:
- Be genuine and authentic. You have to be real. Don’t fake it ‘til you make it. No hidden agendas here. It’s about you being your true and honest self and actually bringing a desire to help someone to the table. (And without expectations.)
- Find common ground. Once I was talking to a woman who had a distinctive accent. I thought at first it was Russian, but I didn’t want to assume. So I asked her where she was from. She said, “Oh, I’m from Moscow.” And I said, “No way, my mom is too!”I took a genuine interest in getting to know her and found that we had some honest-to-God common ground. Magical, right?
- Take real interest in your conversation. When I ran FITzee Foods, I talked to people all the time about their health goals, their weight, and their diets, and I did it because I WANTED to get to know them, not just for the sale of more food. When you’re in it just for the sale, people can feel it. But when you genuinely care, people know that too. Be genuinely interested in what people have to say, or don’t start the conversation at all.
- Listen more, talk less. People like to talk–so let them! When you’re getting to know someone, let them have the floor. Hit the “mute” button (literally, if you have to) and try not to interrupt. Let them tell you what’s on their minds. Let them know you are really hearing what they’re saying and that you genuinely care.
- Share a personal story. I think this is the biggest one. Like with the woman from Moscow, I shared a personal story. I’ve told my stories in the past about how my last business didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. I’ve shared tales of both my big wins and big flops. Why? Because it makes you more relatable and more real. That can’t help but draw the right people in.
This is rapport. This is you being your genuine and honest self, no hidden agendas, no tricks up your sleeve. You’re moving toward the ultimate goal, which is a genuine and mutually rewarding relationship.
AFTER that rapport starts flowing, the connection is deepening, and you’re beginning to feel that you found yourself a “keeper”, what do you do next?
When the relationship is a new one, just keep in mind that it might feel a little bit one-sided for awhile. And trust me, this is OK!
If we go back to my pal Raymon, we took the time to get the rapport going, and now we’re working on taking it to the next level. I stop by occasionally in his inbox to say hello and keep him updated about what’s going on with Pat. I’m always thinking of little ways here and there that I can help him out.
Why would you go to all that trouble? Here’s the thing: it’s not really trouble at all. It’s just what you do for friends! And believe me, it might feel like you’re giving and giving and giving more in the beginning, but it WILL come back to you. Promise.
Keep being real. Keep being yourself. Just keep doing the right thing, and the magic will indeed come back to you over and over again. (And more than likely in bigger and more amazing ways than you can even dream up!)
So here’s my challenge to you: put all of these surefire steps to successful rapport to work and tell me how it goes! Which one was the easiest for you? What amazing business relationships have you found? How about the biggest challenge? (I admit myself that it would be “listen more, talk less”, but I’m working on it!)
Tell me how you used these tips and what happened next in the comments below!
If you loved these tips and want to learn more about building rapport and business relationships, check out this FREE Worksheet and Checklist from Pitch Queen! You’ll learn practical ways to get more confidence, built rapport with authenticity, and be on your way to the business relationships that’ll make ALL the difference.
