If you’ve been considering starting a business it’s important to understand that things won’t be easy. You’ll have to work hard to gain your footing, to be found, to make connections, and that you will very likely experience many different NO’s. The KEY is to remain in the game, not give up and know that every NO is a learning opportunity.
My friend, Monique Marvez, has experienced many NO’s in her life, but she never allowed that to slow her down. She’d find some way around it, using it as a means to grow and better herself.
Monique’s Fresh Start
Monique’s a comedian, who was just waiting for the chance to start performing. She had seen a local place advertising their evening performances and reached out to try to get a gig. The woman on the phone immediately invited her to join them at the next show, but when Monique arrived at the venue, she was told they no longer did comedy.
A lot of people would have just walked away, not Monique. She heard the NO and started spinning her wheels trying to convince the man at the door to allow her in. Then the idea hit her…ask if he had a microphone.
That night, after successfully engaging a room full of patrons, after convincing the guy to give her her a mic, getting people laughing and drinking, the trajectory of Monique’s life completely changed. As luck would have it, the publicist for the hotel came in that night and was made aware of how amazing she had been.
Monique’s friend said to her, “Any other person on the planet would have given up. You were not going to let that guy tell you NO.” The following week, Monique received a call from the publicist for the hotel to book her into her own room on South Beach.
Within a year Monique had been written up in a local South Beach newspaper as Miami’s new talent, she considered herself the Duchess of South Beach. Within a year of that night, she could go to any club, pay no cover, and perform whenever she wanted.
This was the beginning for Monique, but it definitely wasn’t her last NO.
There’s No “Right” Way
Right around the time that Monique was written up in the New Times of South Beach, she was contacted by a woman who does booking for the Montreal Comedy Festival. She wanted to see Monique do a showcase, and book her in for a show at the Festival.
However, when the woman met Monique, she claimed to have never heard of her, which was because Monique had taken a very non-traditional path to get to where she was. Instead of regularly performing in comedy clubs, she spent time performing in cabarets, coffee houses and gay bars on South Beach.
After watching Monique perform, the woman came back to her and told her that unfortunately they didn’t have a spot for her, that it wasn’t her time. Again, Monique could have let this deter her from going forward but that’s not Monique’s way. She doesn’t take NO for an answer.
Instead, she reached out to a friend she knew at the Herald and asked if they’d be interested in having someone write about the Montreal Comedy Festival for free. There was no way they could turn that offer down, so they gave her all the necessary credentials, and she got into the festival with no problem.
In the end, everyone knew what she was up to, and that she was an up and coming comic, so they gave her stage time. She wound up at dinner with Dave Chappelle, Adam Sandler and John Stewart.
She could have taken that NO and let that stop her. She would have missed the opportunity to meet some of the future great comics of our generation. But she didn’t, she was persistent and used it as a lesson on how to never let anyone stop you from getting ahead and getting what you want.
Rejection is the Norm
The reality is that rejection is the norm. In Monique’s industry she’s the product, which means she is basically selling herself, her comedic talent. No matter how good that talent is, it doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed success.
It’s important not to dwell on the NO’s, instead celebrate the process of getting the YES’s. Every single NO you receive is bringing you one step closer to your goal of a YES.
Instead of wallowing choose to live in constant gratitude that you are in a position to even receive a NO. Think about it? How many people are that lucky? They don’t have a vision, a dream, or a passion. They have a J-O-B.
With this philosophy in the forefront for Monique, she was able to quit her day J-O-B in the summer of 1993. She’s been going strong in the entertainment world for 24 years, and, she is grateful for every one of those years.
Advice for Young People
If your only dream is to make money, you can work hard, but you may never ever reach your goals. What you really need to think about is time, because anyone can work hard and make money and buy things, but no one can put one more second on your clock.
Your time is your greatest and most important asset.
Wasting your time with could of, would of, should of is a vicious cycle and not worth your time, nor your energy. Stay the course, you will end up where you’re supposed to be, it’s just the nature of the universe.
Monique’s three biggest pieces of advice?
Love hard. Forgive harder. And, get as happy as you can, as fast as you can.
Get more from Monique:
- Not Skinny, Not Blonde: A Heartwrenching, Hilarious Memoir
- Latin Divas of Comedy
- Snoop Dog Presents The Bad Girls of Comedy
- Hot Tamales Live
- Built For Comfort
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