Nobody likes being told NO. But the truth is that no matter who you are, from Elon Musk to the startup entrepreneur lurking at your local Starbucks, a NO is part of the deal in business.
Of course, hearing “thanks but no thanks” isn’t exactly a day-maker for anyone. That moment when they shake their heads, thank you for your time, and walk out the door can be a heart-wrenching sting. It can make you doubt that you’re cut out for this entrepreneur gig. (And you might even start wondering if that corporate job you left behind wasn’t all THAT bad…)
But just like nearly everything else in life, usually what other people say is not about you but about them. That’s definitely true in sales.
Artist and entrepreneur Zero Dean says it well…
“Rejection is neither an indication of value nor talent. If you believe in what you have to offer, then you don’t stop offering it simply because some of those you offer it to reject it.”
Still, knowing that doesn’t make rejection any easier to swallow. In fact, some of us are so afraid of being told NO that the offer never makes it to the table at all.
But according to actress Chloe Grace Moretz, rejection is a gift. She puts it this way:
“I love getting told NO because then I fight even more.”
Now, I can’t tell you that I LOVE being told no. But I get what she’s saying here. Being told NO is not a rejection so much as an opportunity. If you look at it the right way, it’s a chance to take stock, make improvements, and come back stronger the next time you put an offer on the table.
Still, this kind of bounce-back resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice. You have to let go of your ego and not take things personally. I’ve been told NO so many times in the last ten years that when I hear it now, I just keep moving on. But I wasn’t born knowing that, and I definitely didn’t acquire that skill in a few short weeks.
Some rejections are outright devastating. But others are what I like to call an “accomplished NO.” That means a busted deal that gives you a chance to reflect, learn, and use the experience to keep moving toward your next venture.
I can promise you that there is at least ONE thing you can take from every single NO.
There’s at least one lesson from every negative experience that will help you get closer to your next YES.
My last company scored a huge agreement with a retailer called The Vitamin Shoppe. It was literally a million-dollar deal that looked like it was going to be our first big break. Naturally, I was ecstatic when I got the YES.
The project was bringing freshly prepared meals into a supplement shop. Our deal consisted of a test run in 10 of the stores in the New York and New Jersey area. We had six months to prove ourselves, make the sales, and show that the investment was worth expanding even further throughout the chain of almost 800 stores nationwide.
Let’s just say that the test didn’t go as planned. The response was OK but hardly earth-shattering. To make matters even more pressing, the CEO who negotiated the original deal with me retired just before the terms of the agreement expired.
I didn’t have high hopes of being asked to stay on. Unfortunately, my hunches proved to be correct.
I got the phone call six months to the day into our deal. And overnight, my company went from massive expansion to shrinking back to where we were two years ago. I remember the phone conversation with Doug Jones, the exec that was heading up the project with me, who confirmed my worst fears. They didn’t get the sell through they wanted and the deal was off.
There I was, keeping my phone on mute so that he couldn’t hear me crying.
I was pretty devastated for a few days. But eventually, the dust settled and the pain subsided. It was then that I started asking myself some serious questions.
What could I have done better during this process? What did I learn? And what did I plan to do in my next business venture to make it even bigger and better?
And wouldn’t you know it, after The Vitamin Shoppe deal collapsed, a lot of new doors opened up and amazing opportunities presented themselves.
This is what I mean by an “accomplished NO.” It’s that BIG rejection that shows up in your path the moment before everything turns around.
So how do you handle the most significant and scariest shootdowns and turn them into ways that you can rock your offers on the next go-round?
Ask. Communicate. And Implement.
Jack Canfield, the author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, has a simple rule of thumb. When prospects turn him down, he asks them if on a scale of 1-10 his proposal scored a 10. And if the answer is NO, his next question is, “What could I have done better?”
You’ve heard me say it so many times about so many things: you have to ask for what you want. You’re never going to know what didn’t work for someone unless you ask.
Let’s say that you’re on a sales call and the client decides to pass. Instead of thanking them for their time, ending the call, and heading straight for the consolation of a bucket of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, why not take an alternate approach?
Use this as an opportunity to ask the client what you could’ve done better. Thank them and let them know that you appreciate their honesty. From there, ask them what didn’t work for them about your pitch, presentation, or offer.
Maybe there was truly nothing you could’ve done better, and it was just not the right time. But perhaps some things could be tweaked and polished. Maybe the prospect has some useful and constructive feedback that’ll help your next pitch be even more compelling.
But if you don’t ask, you will NEVER know.
If you’ve seen any of my Instagram stories lately, I’ve gotten into this aerial silk yoga practice. Every week I always ask my instructor, “What can I do to improve?” After all, when you’re suspended from silks on the ceiling while trying to hold a yoga pose, you’re going to want to be sure you’re doing it right! So I always ask.
Being in sales is like taking up a sport. If you’re making a wrong move, you want to know about it. How do you find out when you might be heading in the wrong direction? Ask someone who can see what you’re doing.
And just like asking for anything else, what’s the worst that can happen? There’s everything to gain by asking. Even if you’ve might’ve lost the sale, you still have another opportunity to learn something that can potentially lead to even more sales.
Dealing with rejection is vital to being successful. It’s necessary to see that when a door slams in your face, it’s for a good reason. When one door closes, you learn how to sell more effectively, take things less personally, and grow stronger and more resilient.
Here are three of practical steps to help you bounce back faster when the deal goes south.
Step 1: Build that resilience muscle “IRL.” How do you get experience handling rejection? Put yourself in a place where you might get rejected, of course! Get out into the real world and ask for things. Every day. Ask for one thing each day that makes you just nervous enough to notice the butterflies. You could ask for a free sample somewhere, ask directions, ask someone to sign a petition or ask someone to donate to causes you support. Remember that the point isn’t the outcome. It’s all in the ACTION and getting comfortable in the face of a possible shutdown.
Step 2: Ask for the “Magic Why.” You can do this with clients in real life, AND you can roleplay it with your friends, too! Got a new proposal or offer that you’re getting ready to pitch? Ask someone you know who will give you some solid, honest feedback before you get out there in real life. What worked for this offer? What didn’t? If they were your client, would they say YES? And if not, WHY not? THAT is the Magic Why.
Step 3: Check out Success Unfiltered on iTunes! If you have yet to check out my podcast, now is the time. Success Unfiltered is all about overcoming rejections, believing in yourself, and staying with your dreams no matter what crosses your path. Real entrepreneurs,innovators, and entertainers tell their real stories of what got them to where they are today. One thing that they ALL have in common? Every one of them has a story of rejection and resurrection. It’s just the kind of inspiration that you need in moments when you’re not sure if you can go on.
Bottom line here? Every time you get turned down is an opportunity to rise. Every failure to make a sale is an opportunity to learn and grow. Every rejection is simply a redirection.
But handling the NO with grace takes practice. Don’t worry if you can’t make it happen overnight. Keep practicing, keep trying, and keep navigating until you find the route that gets you to YES the most often.
Want to make sure that you always bounce back from the dreaded NO? If you’re ready to let every rejection become nothing more than a redirection, then this week’s guide is for you! Check out “The Beauty of NO: 3 Ways To Get The Most Out of Business Rejections.” In this guide, I walk you through what rejection means, what you can learn from it, and how it helps you improve your chances of getting the YES in the future. Check it out right HERE!
